These Stress-Relief Activities Actually Work, According to Therapists
Consider this your calming toolkit.
If you feel like your stress has been next-level lately, you might find a tiny bit of comfort in the fact that you’re definitely not alone. According to the American Psychological Association’s 2022 Stress in America report, concerns about money and global uncertainty, to name two huge factors, have spiked personal stress to sky-high levels in the US.
Part of the reason we’re all so unnerved: 87% of respondents agreed that “it feels like there’s been a constant stream of crises over the last two years” (understatement), and 73% reported that they feel “overwhelmed by the number of crises facing the world right now.” And on top of an ongoing global pandemic, ever-upsetting news cycles, and rising gas and grocery costs, many of us are also still dealing with common daily-life stressors like family, career, and relationship drama.
There’s no quick-fix way to make stress disappear, of course. (And if it’s a chronic issue that’s preventing you from living a fulfilling life, talking to a professional may be the best way to relieve some of the pressure and improve your well-being—more on that later.) But there are expert-backed stress-relief activities you can experiment with when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
By drawing from research on psychology practices including cognitive behavioral therapy, mindfulness, and meditation, you might be able to build a kit of coping tools that work for you when life becomes too much. Below, two licensed therapists share their favorite strategies for getting short-term relief from stress and anxiety.
What is stress, exactly?
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, stress is your body’s reaction to something that’s happening to you or around you. An important presentation at work, a hectic and noisy commute, or even a date with someone you’re excited to meet can all put your body on notice that something big is happening, which can activate your fight-or-flight stress response.1 A stressor can be a one-time thing (like an upcoming exam or turbulent flight) or a long-term occurrence (in the case of a chronic health condition, for example, or an overwhelming job).
Stress is a bit different than anxiety, though, which many of us are also familiar with. When you’re stressed out, your physical symptoms will usually naturally resolve once the stressor goes away. Anxiety, on the other hand, which is your body’s internal reaction to stress, might not dissipate so quickly. Even when there isn’t an immediate physical or emotional threat, anxiety is a psychological state that tends to linger.
Some physical symptoms of both stress and anxiety include:
- An elevated heart rate
- Increased blood pressure
- Headache
- Restlessness or insomnia
- Racing thoughts or worry
No matter how your stress manifests, if it starts to feel overwhelming and you’re looking for relief, consider trying some of these expert-backed stress-reduction strategies for relaxing your mind and body.
Stress-relief activities that actually work
Count down to get grounded.
When your internal pressure is high, tuning into your external environment is one stress-relieving practice that might help you feel a bit more chill. Rhayvan Jackson-Terrell, LCSW, wellness director at NYC Health and Hospitals and a telehealth therapist, tells SELF that she often recommends the “5-4-3-2-1 method” to her clients as a mindfulness activity designed to get you out of your head and into the present moment.
Here’s how to do it, she says: Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Next, take a look around and notice the details of your surroundings. Then, count down from five using your senses: Name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you taste. That’s it—by stepping out of your stressful mental narrative and dropping into your environment and sensations, you might be able to relax your mind and body. As Jackson-Terrell puts it, “Being able to stop for a moment and identify how we feel can actually help us calm down. It gives us space and grace for our body to regulate itself.”Activate your “dive reflex.”
You know that movie moment when the main character runs away from a stressful situation and into a public bathroom? When they take a deep breath and splash cold water from the sink on their face as a way to show the audience that they really need to calm down? Melodramatic as it may seem, a version of this grounding technique could actually help you in real life, since splashing cold water on your face is a way to activate the “dive reflex,” your body’s natural way of focusing blood and oxygen to your vital organs when you’re submerged in water.2
“This tool can be helpful when people are starting to kind of panic—they’re going into a presentation or a meeting they’re really nervous about and they’re feeling acute anxiety due to a stressor,” Nicole Murray, PsyD, clinical director and CEO at telehealth therapy group Cultured Space, tells SELF. Cold water on your face can calm your autonomic nervous system, decreasing your heart rate and slowing your breathing. Practice box breathing.
Breathing techniques are another simple strategy that might help you calm down, and Jackson-Terrell recommends one called box breathing as a go-to stress reliever. She says she likes this coping activity because of its accessibility: “It’s something we can do no matter where we are, no matter what environment we’re in.”
Box breathing is named for its four-step process of four counts each, which is meant to conjure the mental image of a square. It requires breathing in for a count of four, then holding that breath in for a count of four, exhaling for another count of four, and holding your breath out for four more counts. You can continue breathing in this way until you feel your body start to let go of tension, Jackson-Terrell says. And you can do it before, after, or during a nerve-wracking experience, making it a versatile addition to your stress-SOS toolkit. (Here are some more deep breathing exercises that might help you lower stress and anxiety.)Try relaxing your muscles, one by one.
Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique for tension release that’s been shown to provide relief from stress and anxiety.3 Dr. Murray recommends it as an effective activity for times when you need to relax but aren’t feeling acutely anxious (you’re not exactly in a one-muscle-at-a-time place if you’re really revved up, you know?)—maybe at the end of a stressful day or as a calming way to ease into the weekend. All you need is a comfortable place to sit and a few quiet moments
Start by curling your toes under and tensing the muscles in your foot for a few seconds before slowly un-tensing those same muscles. Do the same with your lower legs, then your upper legs, your torso, your chest and stomach, your shoulders and neck—all the way up to the top of your head. The idea is to invite tension into each muscle group, one by one, before consciously releasing it. This builds the connection between your brain and your body, grounding you in the current moment (so you’re not lost in your stressed-out mind) and giving you a sense of control over how much tension you’re holding on to, according to Dr. Murray. Do a stress rehearsal.
There are some instances where stress may be triggered by spending time with a specific person in your life. (Hello, nerve-wracking holiday party with your boss’s boss, or Thanksgiving with your hyper-critical family member who just knows how to get to you.)
When that’s the case, Dr. Murray suggests borrowing a tool from cognitive behavioral therapy called stress inoculation, a coping mechanism in which you imagine yourself in a stressful situation and mentally run through how you’ll handle it.4 Basically, she recommends mentally rehearsing scenarios ahead of time as a way of managing your stress level.
“You’re almost preparing yourself to be triggered,” she says. “Walk through possible conversations and imagine how you’ll respond if a loved one says something to offend you, or how you’ll avoid someone who you don’t feel comfortable around. Practice ways to respond, and have a plan B—remembering that it’s always okay to leave a situation if you need to,” Dr. Murray says. This won’t necessarily calm you in a moment when you’re already stressed or anxious, but it can help you keep things in perspective so you don’t go into a dread spiral.
And on days when you know other people are going to activate your stress response, Dr. Murray recommends protecting yourself by removing as many additional stressors as possible. In other words, as an act of self-care, don’t schedule a job interview or medical procedure on the same day you know your in-laws are going to pepper you about your reproductive choices again at dinner.
When to see a professional for help managing stress and anxiety
Jackson-Terrell points out that feeling some amount of stress and anxiety doesn’t mean you have an anxiety disorder or another mental health condition. Some level of stress is just part of being human. Chronic stress, however, can have a negative impact on your long-term physical and mental health.
If basic stress management tools and relaxation techniques like the ones above aren’t helping—or aren’t helping enough—it could be time to make an appointment with a primary care provider (who can screen you for anxiety or depression, both of which are related to stress) or a therapist. “The world is scary and overwhelming, and everybody feels stressed sometimes, but you should never self-diagnose,” Jackson-Terrell says. “A medical or mental health professional can help you figure out what’s really going on.” And once you know the source of your stress and/or anxiety, you can get the proper treatment to feel more like your less-stressed self.