Shifting Gears: Adjusting to Life in College

September 2, 2015 by rmsmith5

Advice from Lynanne Yndestad, Director of New Student and Family Programs

By now, many you may have received at least one phone call or text message from your student asking for help or advice. The transition to college life can be a tricky one and I would like to share a few tips for helping your student as they adjust to a new environment and expectations. Below are some of the most common issues experienced in the first few weeks of college and some advice for you to share with your student.

Time Management

Without a doubt, one of the largest challenges that students face when they begin college is learning to manage their time. Unlike high school, life at VCU is not structured between the hours of 7 a.m. and 3 p.m., so students have a lot more free time on their hands. It can be very easy to spend that time on social media, surfing the Internet, playing video games, or doing other things that may not contribute positively to their success in college. While none of the things mentioned above are bad in moderation, it is important that your student knows when enough is enough. In addition, many students are not used to the responsibility of making their own schedule and building in times for study and play because this structure may have been set for them before coming to college.

Encourage your student to be proactive about managing his or her time. I suggest all students should invest in a planner that breaks each day down into fifteen minute increments or utilize the Google calendar that comes with their VCU email account and to take the time adding every class and obligation they have (i.e. work, a student club or organization, etc.) to that planner/calendar first. Then, I encourage them to go through each syllabus they received from instructors and add when assignments are due. Next comes adding in time for the things they need to do to be healthy such as eating, sleeping, or getting regular exercise. Once all of these must-haves are accounted for, they need to build in time for study and completing projects. A general rule of thumb is that for every hour spent in class, students should spend three hours studying, working on papers/projects, or reading to prepare for the next time the class meets. They should schedule this time and if they finish early they’ll get a surprise break to spend doing whatever they wish. The time that is leftover is time they should spend hanging out with friends, going to events on or off campus or just having some down time to themselves.

Roommate Conflicts

The reality is that many students have never had to share the space where they study, eat or sleep with another human who is not part of their family unit. Learning to navigate this new relationship can be an arduous task. My first piece of advice to you as a parent or family member is to do your best to remove yourself from solving any problems related to roommate conflicts. It is so important that your student becomes empowered to resolve disagreements or misunderstandings with other people. This may truly be one of the most valuable skills gained in college as it will help them to develop the skills necessary to build and maintain future relationships with a spouse/partner, co-worker, boss, neighbor or friend.

This does not mean you cannot be a listening ear or someone who can provide them with support and advice. If your student is living on campus and experiencing conflict with a roommate, encourage him or her to utilize a Resident Advisor, the student leader assigned to their living area, to help them work through conflicts. Resident Advisors are trained to mediate conflicts and direct your student to appropriate resources. If your student needs a little more assistance, there is a Hall Director assigned to each residence hall that he or she can reach out to. Hall Directors are professional staff members who are charged with the responsibility of building a strong community where students will be successful and thrive. VCU Residential Life and Housing has also developed a great list of tips for students regarding roommate relationships that can be found by clicking here. These tips are great for students living on or off campus and I would definitely encourage you to check them out and have your student take a look at them even if he or she is not experiencing any issues with a roommate.

Homesickness

Being away from home for the first time can be tough on many students (and parents!). It is easy to fall into a routine of asking your student to come home to visit every weekend if you are not far away. I would encourage you to do just the opposite. Encourage your student to become involved in life on campus and in Richmond. There is so much to do on campus between hall programs, free movies and programs on the weekend, adventure trips and student organization events. We also are fortunate to live in a city that is bustling with free and low-cost entertainment. There is a great Richmond events calendar located here that I would definitely suggest you pass on to your student. When students become an active part of the VCU and Richmond communities, they grow to love their student experience so much more. If you want to see them, we encourage you to come and visit too!

Having your student come home a little less frequently may be tough on you and your student, but it does create the opportunity for this time together to be very special. There is a lot that you can do in between visits to stay in touch. I encourage you to keep your student informed about any changes that are happening at home. Funny enough, most college students expect their families to accept all of the changes they are making but want everything at home to stay exactly the same. This is human nature. We find security when things at home remain unchanged. The reality though is that when a student leaves the nest things change at home too! It is important that you keep your students abreast of changes at home so that they are not surprised when they come home. If a family member or pet becomes ill, a younger sibling moves into their room, or you do a major kitchen remodel — let them know! This will help your student to feel like they are in-the-know about the changes happening in your life and will make them more likely to share with you the changes they are going through.

Lastly, if you haven’t already done so, set up a communication plan with your student. Talk about whether you’d like a planned time to talk each week or if you both prefer to reach out at random times. It can be challenging not to talk to your student every single day (or every few hours!) but try to stick to the communication plan you both agree to. Know that even though you may have always been able to reach your student by cell phone in high school, his or her schedule is a little different now and your student may not answer every single time. Many students utilize text messaging and this is a great way to connect with your students at various points throughout the day. During my college experience, which was over a decade ago, my Mom and I made a plan to speak on the phone every Sunday afternoon. It was a time I really cherished and looked forward to. I even found myself making notes throughout the week of things I wanted to talk with her about. Now that times have changed, we still speak at least once a week but communicate almost daily through an unplanned text message or two. Technology truly is reshaping how we connect as a society and as families.

Academic Expectations

It is probably no surprise to you that university life is a little more rigorous than life in high school with regard to academic expectations, but to your student this may come as a shock. Many students who were high academic performers in high school struggle in college because the expectations are different and they must be diligent about scheduling time to study and complete assignments. Your student may experience different teaching styles, larger classrooms and more challenging material. They also will be expected to do more than memorize information and answer questions. University professors demand that students be able to think critically about the information they have learned and apply that information to daily life, creating solutions to problems or thinking outside the box about the material.

I believe it it important to talk with your student about what he or she hopes to accomplish academically during the first year of college. Spend some time working with your student to identify a few realistic academic goals and map out a plan to achieve them. Remind your student about the amount of time needed for study outside of classroom time. Encourage your student to find a good place to study. The Cabell Library certainly has a lot of space, but there are also great study spots in the residence halls, the University Student Commons, and many academic buildings on campus. Do not be afraid to point out campus resources to your student but push him or her to actually make the appointment to utilize those resources. The Campus Learning Center offers free tutoring as well as Supplemental Instruction in many subjects. The Writing Center is an excellent resource for students who need help writing papers for any subject or would just like someone to review their written work before turning it in to a professor.

Financial Struggles

It is possible that you’ve already heard from your student about money. Many students are not prepared to manage their finances when they begin life in college. It is important that your student understands that while you want to offer support, you are not an ATM. I suggest that all parents and students work together to develop a budget and identify who will pay for what. Don’t forget to include things like car payments, auto insurance and cell phone bills. Talk to your student about reasonable amounts to spend on things like clothes, grooming, entertainment, and food that is not part of the dining plan he or she may already have. Be cautious about continuously giving your student money or adding money to his or her Rambucks account without talking about why the money is needed. Do not be afraid to question your student if you feel he or she is spending the money you are offering too quickly.

VCU has partnered with the nonprofit American Student Assistance to bring SALT®, a free resource that can help your student to take control of his or her finances and student loans. SALT® offers financial literacy guidance and tools to college students and alumni, so your student can use this tool throughout college and beyond. Encourage your student to sign up at https://www.saltmoney.org/register/ to track student loans, get personalized guidance, find scholarships and gain information about internships and jobs.

Speaking of jobs…now might be a great time for your student to consider a part-time job to help pay for some expenses. There are many jobs available to VCU students that keep in mind the fact that they are students first. Encourage your student to utilize the many resources available at VCU Career Services. This office is designed to help students prepare for jobs and internships both during and after college. They can offer your student assistance with creating or updating a resume, practicing their interview skills or job searching. They also offer job fairs regularly throughout the year.

Now that your student is officially an adult, he or she might be tempted to sign up for credit cards. A credit card is an excellent way to build or completely destroy your student’s credit history. Have honest conversations about how utilizing a credit card can both help and hurt your student’s financial future. Consider adding your student as an authorized user on one of your credit cards until he or she gets the hang of how to use it. Encourage your student to set a very low spending limit if he or she chooses to apply for a credit card.