“Be Mine” and other things you should never say at work
Compliance Corner – Issue 2.2
Valentine’s Day makes many of us nostalgic for the classroom parties we enjoyed as children: exchanging tiny cards, each with the name of a classmate written in an elementary hand; conversation hearts with silly sayings; cupcakes and creative, heart-themed projects.
But when it comes to the workplace, should we try to recreate the past? According to several professional etiquette websites, maybe not on Valentine’s Day. Here’s the lowdown for all you would-be Cupid-hanging, cutesy card-spreading candy-pushers:
theladders.com caught up with Rachel Wagner, a business etiquette and protocol expert, and Lew Bayer, CEO of Civility Experts to get their take on spreading the love at work:
- Wagner says workers should avoid giving gifts or cards on Valentine’s Day. It’s not only unprofessional, “it’s not appropriate…This can send the wrong message and cause awkwardness when you meet in the hallway or breakroom.”
- Valentine’s Day does not give you the license to quote from those candy hearts with sayings like ‘Be mine.’ According to Wagner, it’s not an excuse to flirt with coworkers, or to give “‘compliments’ that convey the wrong message, like, ‘You look really nice in that dress.’ Instead, keep [it] professional.”
- Bayer adds that if you have a big, romantic dinner planned with your S.O., keep it to yourself. You need to be sensitive to the fact that others may not be in a safe or loving relationship.
- Also verboten around Valentine’s Day? Sharing the details about relationship status and the play-by-play after those romantic dinners. “I’m not sure what the equivalent of a Christmas Scrooge is,” says Bayer, “ – but whatever it is, I highly recommend being that at work, at least from 9-5 on Valentine’s Day.”
Why such cautionary commentary on the day that brought so much joy to many a sugar-charged schoolchild? Because times have changed; we’re adults now. And because one person’s idea of an innocent gesture could be interpreted by another person as inappropriate attention, or worse, as sexual harassment. And for some, Valentine’s Day becomes a slippery slope when they take things too far by giving cards and sending messages – electronically or in person – containing inappropriate or sexual themes.
But before relegating your paper doilies to the recycle bin, there are a few things most experts feel are still acceptable on Cupid’s big day. Again, from theladders.com:
Consider bringing a sweet, Valentine’s-themed treat to share with the team; by offering this to everyone, you avoid the issue of making any one person feel singled-out or harassed.
Another suggestion, from jobcluster.com, is to add some color associated with Valentine’s Day to your apparel on that day; a red tie or pink blouse can convey your holiday mood, provided it aligns with the dress code.
So, if you’re inclined to celebrate Valentine’s Day at work, go ahead and bring in those bagels with strawberry cream cheese, and rock those red shoes and socks, but leave the roses at home. Keep it professional.
If there’s a topic you’d like us to cover in Compliance Corner, please send your idea to mcquillenka@vcu.edu.
Sources:
(n.d.). Retrieved February 6, 2023, from https://www.jobcluster.com/blog/valentines-day-etiquettes-for-workplace/
Lamberg, E. (2019, October 11). 4 office protocol tips to follow for Valentine’s day, from experts. Ladders. Retrieved February 6, 2023, from https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/4-office-protocol-tips-to-follow-for-valentines-day-from-experts