America: The other side of coin!
Being an exchange student was my dream since I read, “Jannat Kay Pattay,” a novel by the Pakistani novelist, Nimra Ahmed, in which a girl got selected to go on a cultural exchange program. However, this current blog is actually from the lens of an international scholar. You may agree or disagree with my observations, as this is my fourth month as Humphrey fellow. So far my journey has been bumpy and yet I want to enjoy and experience more out of it. A few observations that I have made might be helpful to you and can serve as a guiding tool for students/ professionals who are planning to be part of this journey in coming years, especially from Asia, and specifically, Pakistan or India. My observations can be categorized under individual, family and societal levels as a whole.
One of the first things that you will observe while stepping your feet on US land, is that the airport staff are actually cooperative and it is opposite of your expectations. They will show you respect and your conversations will consist of polite and welcoming words without racism, in general. This may not be what you expected especially if you are Muslim. On your first day of this professional journey, you will be flooded by loads of information in terms of your professional goals, technology and American history respectively. And your jet lag will make you feel confused and you will have hard time catching up to the pace of the time table.
Soon you will also realize that people seem to be very interested in helping you. They will help you to solve your query whether it is about banking or to apply for a university ID card, etc. Another thing that caught my attention was the working capacity of senior citizens. You will see them on historical tours as guides and they can even give long speeches… that is fabulous! They don’t feel pity for themselves by working to a very old age. Americans have a high sense of responsibility, which is a collective phenomenon. Everyone follow rules and I have to give them a big round of applause for their civic sense. We were told by our country representatives, during our pre departure orientation class, that “time is money” and never be late to an appointment. I have found it 101% true.
As a part of my experiential learning, I have spent time with my friendship families. Recently they invited me to have Thanksgiving dinner with them and I witnessed 5 generations under one roof. That was wonderful feeling!
In terms of the typical family system in the U.S., the empty nest stage can be seen in abundance. Parents usually live alone and their offspring are living on their own far away from parents, usually in pursuit of education or creating their own family as a new phase of life. Whereas, I don’t appreciate this part of American culture, in fact it makes me feel sad.. Another aspect that I see as a difference between cultures, is that every member of the family has to work and earn their bread and butter. Additionally, they don’t feel shame doing odd jobs and I consider this a strength. They save money and believe in recycling but still a majority have difficulty discarding trash and they hoard too much in their homes. This is the culture of me, me and me, however, my cultural expectations are we, we and we and to make a healthy balance between these two extremes is a challenge. And, I got a classic answer during my Global Leadership Forum journey as one expert referred to an announcement during a flight “if there is any landing emergency put mask on yourself first before helping others”(LOL).
There is a big emphasis on cleaning as a common phenomenon here. So, sanitizers and wet towels are available in places like gym, around campus and also at shopping or grocery stores like Kroger 🙂 This will keep you safe from germs in US but it can put you at risk of slight immune-compromise while going back to your country if you don’t practice such habits regularly. You will not see trash in public places and it’s true for majority of states.
One thing of paramount importance is the health care system, which is considered one of the best across the globe but remember, it’s very expensive and hard to get an appointment. My advice is don’t get sick and don’t go to the emergency room!!!! One very considerable fact in terms of a new experience for me is the use of technology i.e. at grocery stores you are offered self-check outs, or similarly the use of online courses through the blackboard platform. You will receive 100s of email in a week and you have to respond to them immediately and that can be draining. You have to make hundreds of accounts for your sustainability. I recommend making a back up document with all accounts and passwords with codes to protect from theft. This was an additional burden to me especially in early days and for those who don’t use technology regularly. One drawback of using technology is the inability to focus on your desired goal as it also brings distraction.
People are found to be less anxious while standing in line this might be because they trust the system. You will also experience repair and maintenance to happen faster than in your country. I think the concept of volunteerism is a good one. Americans have high awareness regarding their own rights. Contrary to that, they choose to ignore this if someone needs help in public. Greetings are a common phenomenon and that can surprise you. At times you also feel a robotic greeting “nice to meet to” from every single person. General conversations don’t go around and around, instead people are straight forward, so you may find them too blunt but that’s their culture. This does not mean they are rude but at the same time their polite gesture doesn’t mean they are in love with you J . Different dialects of English are prominent across states. You will even hear lot of abuse words on streets if you are in NY.
Culture Shock is real! Yes, it is real!! Don’t take it light. When you are tired of following timelines and you don’t have your servants/maids and you will not be able afford them here, it will catch up with you in the fall to winter time. One unique fact for Muslims is that when they don’t hear ‘Adhan’ and forget to offer their prayers, it can be of high distress, if you are practicing Muslim and exhausting as well. In order to keep things in balance, I found a solution, by downloading Muslim Pro, a free application which calls Adhan. Travelling across the US will offer you beautiful sights for photography and serenity but one thing you may notice is symmetry of the general structure in America, it can bring monotony in your life. If you don’t have good company and you choose to stay at home for online courses then you are not taking full advantage of this opportunity. So go and live a life and explore this land!
Written by Rabia Hanif (Pakistan)
Humphrey Fellow 2017-18
Virginia Commonwealth University