[{"id":292,"date":"2026-06-25T16:41:56","date_gmt":"2026-06-25T20:41:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/?p=292"},"modified":"2026-08-18T08:39:20","modified_gmt":"2026-08-18T12:39:20","slug":"when-presence-is-the-practice-status-the-scarf-model-and-what-we-send-before-we-say-a-word","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/when-presence-is-the-practice-status-the-scarf-model-and-what-we-send-before-we-say-a-word\/","title":{"rendered":"When Presence is the Practice: Status, the SCARF Model, and What We Send Before We Say a Word"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Author: Lorelei E. Pisha, Ed.D. | Original Post June 24, 2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the last post<\/a>, we talked about the SCARF model<\/a> as a brain-based way to make sense of those visits and meetings that leave us thinking, \u201cWhy did that feel so hard?\u201d David Rock’s SCARF model identifies five core social domains that the human brain monitors constantly, often below conscious awareness, as signals of safety or threat. Status is the first: the brain’s ongoing, automatic assessment of one’s relative worth and standing in any social interaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

Status is not about pride or vanity. Rather, status is a survival signal. The same neural networks that register physical threat register social threat, and the brain does not always distinguish well between the two. When someone’s sense of standing in a room is undermined, the brain treats it as a problem that requires resources to manage.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Small Behaviors that Carry Big Messages<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

For families in early intervention, the status terrain is already uneven before you arrive. Many are navigating a new or recent diagnosis, sitting with grief they may not have language for yet, and asking themselves quietly whether they have done enough, caught things early enough, responded well enough. They have already been assessed, observed, and evaluated by multiple professionals. The home visit, warm and well-intentioned as it is, is not a neutral event for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The status message we send doesn’t have to be spoken to be felt. In fact, the behaviors that inadvertently threaten a family’s status are so ordinary, so entirely understandable given the realities of our work. For example, when we arrive with the session already planned in our minds, even if it’s based off of the last joint plan, the family may feel our agenda before we ask a single question. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\n

Pace is another nonverbal carrier of status. A practitioner who moves quickly and efficiently through an opening check-in may be sitting across from a parent who processes more slowly, who needs a moment of quiet before they can find words, who thinks in circles before arriving at the center. When we fill those silences, or finish a parent’s sentence because we’ve heard a version of it before, we are not wrong about what they’re trying to say. But the act of completing their thought for them sends something underneath the words: I already know where you’re going. Let me save us both the time.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

These behaviors are often well-intended and mostly out of our conscious thought. These are the things that happen to every practitioner carrying a full caseload and a genuine desire to do good work. The invitation is not to be hard on ourselves. It is to notice and consider how these small behaviors may impact our professional relationship with the family in front of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why This Matters for Capacity Building<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Early intervention is fundamentally about building families’ confidence and competence so that they can be their child’s most powerful, most consistent, most present support in every ordinary moment between visits. That is the goal. And, according to David Rock’s research, that goal has a neurological prerequisite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

The quality of the relationship is not separate from the work. It is the neurological substrate on which the work either takes root or doesn’t.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

A parent whose brain is quietly managing a status threat is not in optimal condition to learn something new, take a risk with a new approach, or trust their own read of their child. Rock’s research is clear on this: threat states recruit resources away from the prefrontal cortex, which is the region responsible for learning, integration, problem-solving, and the kind of flexible thinking that trying new caregiving strategies actually requires (Rock, 2008). We can deliver the most carefully designed intervention in the world, and if the parent’s brain is in protection mode, the conditions for genuine learning simply aren’t there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

F-5 as the Anchor<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The SCARF model reminds us to mindfully foster the neurological conditions for safety as the anchor for capacity building work. DEC Recommended Practice<\/a> F-5 asks that practitioners support family functioning and promote confidence and competence by recognizing and building on family strengths and capacities (Division for Early Childhood, 2014). F-5 is not something we apply at one moment in a session. It’s not the moment we offer a specific compliment or name a family strength. It is a relational orientation that shapes every interaction from the moment we knock on the door. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\n

In SCARF terms, our work to build capacity serves as a continuous status reward: a steady, consistent message to the family’s nervous system that you matter here, your knowledge matters here, your experience of your child is worth my full attention.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

What does this look like in practice? It looks like pausing at the door, landing in the room first, as a person, before landing as a practitioner. It looks like asking “how has your week been?” and waiting for the answer, without pulling out our notebook or moving toward the child while the parent is answering. It looks like naming something specific and genuine that you observed the parent do, not with an agenda, but simply because you noticed something wonderful. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Visit Starts Before You Knock on the Door<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

This work is heavy in all the ways we don’t always say out loud \u2014 the caseloads, the documentation, the emotional weight of sitting alongside families in genuinely hard seasons of life. And inside all of that, the quality of attention we bring to the first two minutes of a home visit is itself an intervention. Presence is not the warm-up. Presence is the practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

Before you know at your next visit, try this: Arrive one breath early, so-to-speak. Let yourself actually land before you begin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, when the door opens, focus on the parent’s face. Let that be the first thing you attend to.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

On Rupture and Repair<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Even with the clearest intentions and the most genuine presence, status misattunements happen. Sometimes we don’t notice until we’re in the car afterward, replaying the visit with a vague sense that something didn’t quite hit right. Sometimes a parent gets quiet in a way we can’t entirely account for, and we move on because the schedule doesn’t allow for much lingering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lisa Terry and Heather Waters have written beautifully about rupture and repair in early intervention relationships; they remind us that a healthy relationship is not defined by the absence of misattunement but by the capacity to return from it. The same is entirely true here. We will not always arrive fully present. We will sometimes move too fast, steer too quickly, fill a silence we should have held.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What we can do is notice, and come back. A practitioner who returns to a moment is doing something that matters far beyond the words. Try asking, “I’m wondering if something I said landed differently than I intended. Can we check in about that?” The act of repair is itself a status reward. It tells the family, in the most direct way possible, that their experience in this relationship is something we care about. For more support with repairing a rupture, you will want to read Lisa and Heather’s blog post from December<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Reflective Pause: Status<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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\n

As you think about your own work, where do you notice status issues showing up most often<\/em>? Where could you strengthen a parent’s status in the EI partnership?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

In the next post for this series, we\u2019ll explore the next SCARF domain, Certainty, and how sharing power and staying connected can shape the way our brains experience tough moments in EI.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n
\n
\"Division<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

F5<\/strong> Practitioners support family functioning, promote family confidence and competence, and strengthen family-child relationships by acting in ways that recognize and build on family strengths and capacities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

References<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Campbell, P. H., & Sawyer, L. B. (2007). Supporting caregivers\u2019 use of intervention strategies during daily routines. Infants & Young Children<\/em>, 20(2), 139\u2013153. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1097\/01.IYC.0000264481.12745.1e<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Division for Early Childhood. (2014). DEC recommended practices in early intervention\/early
childhood special education 2014. http:\/\/www.dec-sped.org\/dec-recommended-practices<\/a> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dunst, C. J., & Trivette, C. M. (2012). Moderators of the effectiveness of family-centered help-giving practices. Journal of Research in Special Educational Needs<\/em>, 12(2), 118\u2013125. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1111\/j.1471-3802.2011.01211.x<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. NeuroLeadership Journal<\/em>, 1<\/em>(1), 1\u20139. https:\/\/schoolguide.casel.org\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/12\/SCARF-NeuroleadershipArticle.pdf<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sherman, M. (2024, January 3). Buzzwords explained: Reflective practice<\/em>. Zero to Three. https:\/\/www.zerotothree.org\/resource\/distillation\/buzzwords-explained-reflective-practice\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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About the Author<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Lorelei E. Pisha, Ed.D.<\/em> is a Professional Development Consultant with VEIPD<\/a> , a Co-Facilitator for the DEC Early Intervention Community of Practice<\/a> (join now – no membership required!), and an aRPy Ambassador<\/a> for the DEC Recommended Practices<\/a>. Reach out to Lorelei with any ideas you have for the VEIPD Voices Blog – VEIPD wants THIS space to be all of OUR space. Lorelei’s email is pishale@vcu.edu<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Author: Lorelei E. Pisha, Ed.D. | Original Post June 24, 2026 In the last post, we talked about the SCARF model as a brain-based way to make sense of those visits and meetings that leave us thinking, \u201cWhy did that feel so hard?\u201d David Rock’s SCARF model identifies five core social domains that the human […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2282,"featured_media":303,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[59,64],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-292","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-early-intervention","category-recent-posts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/292","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2282"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=292"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/292\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=292"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=292"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=292"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":282,"date":"2026-06-24T11:58:30","date_gmt":"2026-06-24T15:58:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/?p=282"},"modified":"2026-08-27T11:38:02","modified_gmt":"2026-08-27T15:38:02","slug":"feeling-tense-from-a-confusing-interaction-de-activate-your-stress-response-with-the-s-c-a-r-f-model","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/feeling-tense-from-a-confusing-interaction-de-activate-your-stress-response-with-the-s-c-a-r-f-model\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeling Tense from a Confusing Interaction? De-Activate Your Stress Response with the S-C-A-R-F Model"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Author: Lorelei E. Pisha, Ed.D. | Original Post May 18, 2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Have you ever left a visit or team meeting replaying an interaction in your mind, maybe thinking something like: \u201cWhat just happened there?\u201d or \u201cWhy did that feel so hard?\u201d Of course you have, because we all have in this field! And, that’s partly because family-centered, capacity-building practices are powerfully effective AND they can also be challenging to do in every situation with every person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even though there is no step-by-step rule book for our very human-centered work, we do know that reflective practice<\/a> is a tool that allows us to “pause and slow down to become aware of thoughts, feelings, and reactions that arise in everyday interactions.” The SCARF model <\/a>gives us a lens to apply during reflective practice, helping us make sense of challenging moments by considering what was happening for each person in that interaction. In this first post of a short series, we will introduce the SCARF model and connect it to reflective practice in early intervention. Future posts will take a closer look at each part of SCARF and explore how it can support your day-to-day work with families and colleagues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The SCARF Model<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The SCARF model, developed by David Rock, is a brain-based framework that describes five social needs that strongly influence how we engage with other people: <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

Status<\/strong><\/em> \u2013 Sense of being valued and respected
Certainty<\/strong><\/em> \u2013 Clarity and predictability about what to expect
Autonomy<\/strong><\/em> \u2013 Sense of choice and control
Relatedness<\/em> <\/strong>\u2013 Feeling safe and \u201con the same team\u201d
Fairness<\/strong><\/em> \u2013 Perception that processes and decisions are equitable and just<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

When any of these needs feel threatened, our brains can quickly move into a \u201cthreat response,\u201d which might show up as defensiveness, withdrawal, resistance, or shutting down\u2014often outside of our conscious awareness. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In early intervention, we see this every day:
– A parent who appears \u201cdisengaged\u201d during a visit
– A colleague who seems resistant to feedback
– A practitioner who feels discouraged or criticized after a supervision meetin<\/em>g<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n

\u201cFamily-centered principles guide practitioners on what to do, and adult learning theory facilitates how to do it.\u201d<\/em><\/strong><\/p>Woods and Brown, 2011<\/cite><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

SCARF shines a light on the social and emotional climate that can either open or quietly close the door to learning and partnership. A seminal body of research<\/a> reminds us that families play a powerful role in their children\u2019s development and, when they are supported, they can carry out intervention strategies in ways that make a lasting difference. At the same time, studies<\/a> have found that putting family-centered, capacity-building practices into action is often hard for providers in the messy realities of home visits and community work. Looking through a SCARF lens gives us one more way to make sense of why the work can feel so challenging and to notice small shifts that might help us unpack assumptions and find a meaningful way forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pairing SCARF with Reflective Practice<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Reflective practice invites us to slow down, notice our own reactions, and stay curious about the \u201cwhy\u201d underneath behaviors. It aligns closely with adult learning principles that say adults learn best when new information builds on what they already know, feels immediately relevant, involves active participation, is practiced in context, and includes feedback and reflection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When we bring SCARF into reflective practice, our internal dialogue begins to shift:
– From<\/strong> \u201cWhy are they so resistant?\u201d<\/em> to <\/strong>\u201cI wonder if their Status or Autonomy might feel threatened right now.\u201d<\/em>
– From<\/strong> \u201cI\u2019m just not good at this\u201d <\/strong><\/em>to<\/strong> \u201cI wonder which SCARF needs feel shaky for me and what support I might need.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This stance of wondering helps us move away from quick judgments and toward more compassionate, intentional responses that support both the caregiver\u2019s learning and our own growth as practitioners and leaders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Quick Scenario to Explore<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

The Interaction:<\/strong> It’s been a little challenging to develop a comfortable professional relationship with a new-ish family on your caseload. Irene, the child’s mom, has been slow to answer texts, has canceled last minute twice, and often hasn’t worked on the joint plan you two developed in the previous visit. Then, today, you noticed Irene looking away, checking her phone, and responding with short answers while you were modeling a new strategy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

First Assumptions: <\/strong>Our brain can go lots of ways after a confusing social interaction. Remember, your brain is also monitoring for your social needs for Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness, and Fairness. We might think, \u201cIrene doesn’t seem to value EI visits.” Or, maybe, even, \u201cWhy doesn’t she like me?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A Second Pass: <\/strong>With SCARF and reflective practice, we might check our assumptions and knee-jerk reactions by pausing and wondering:
– Could Irene’s Status<\/strong> feel threatened if it seems like her way of parenting is being judged? Does she feel like I’m telling her what to do and not respecting her as the expert on her child?
– Is Certainty<\/strong> low because the Irene is juggling multiple sets of feedback and advice?
– Does Autonomy<\/strong> feel limited if strategies don\u2019t yet feel like a fit with how their family usually does things?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019ll come back to this kind of scenario later in the series and look at specific \u201csmall moves\u201d you can make to support SCARF needs for both the family and yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

An Invitation to Wonder<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

For now, here is a short reflection you might try this week. Start by bringing to mind a recent visit, meeting, or interaction that felt challenging. Then, ask yourself –<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>
\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhich SCARF domain might have felt threatened for the other person?\u201d
<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Which SCARF domain might have felt threatened for me?\u201d<\/em>
<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

You might find that just naming these needs opens up new possibilities for connection and problem-solving without needing to \u201cfix\u201d everything at once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

In the next post, we\u2019ll dig into the first domain, Status<\/em>, and explore concrete, everyday ways to support Status with families and colleagues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But, for now, at first glance, how does this model sit with you? Could it potentially open up a fresh possibility for understanding or repair for an interaction or relationship that has felt complicated at times?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\n
\"Division<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

F1<\/strong> Practitioners build trusting and respectful partnerships with the family through interactions that are sensitive and responsive to cultural, linguistic, and socio-economic diversity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

L1 <\/strong>Leaders create a culture and a climate in which practitioners feel a sense of belonging and want to support the organization’s mission and goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

References<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Campbell, P. H., & Sawyer, L. B. (2007). Supporting caregivers\u2019 use of intervention strategies during daily routines. Infants & Young Children<\/em>, 20(2), 139\u2013153. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1097\/01.IYC.0000264481.12745.1e<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dunst, C. J., & Trivette, C. M. (2012). Moderators of the effectiveness of family-centered help-giving practices. Journal of Research in Special Educational Needs<\/em>, 12(2), 118\u2013125. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1111\/j.1471-3802.2011.01211.x<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. NeuroLeadership Journal<\/em>, 1<\/em>(1), 1\u20139. https:\/\/schoolguide.casel.org\/uploads\/sites\/2\/2018\/12\/SCARF-NeuroleadershipArticle.pdf<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sherman, M. (2024, January 3). Buzzwords explained: Reflective practice<\/em>. Zero to Three. https:\/\/www.zerotothree.org\/resource\/distillation\/buzzwords-explained-reflective-practice\/<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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About the Author<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Lorelei E. Pisha, Ed.D.<\/em> is a Professional Development Consultant with the VEIPD<\/a> , a Co-Facilitator for the DEC Early Intervention Community of Practice<\/a> (join now – no membership required!), and an aRPy Ambassador<\/a> for the DEC Recommended Practices<\/a>. Reach out to Lorelei with any ideas you have for the VEIPD Voices Blog – she wants THIS space to be all of OUR space. Her email is pishale@vcu.edu<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Author: Lorelei E. Pisha, Ed.D. | Original Post May 18, 2026 Have you ever left a visit or team meeting replaying an interaction in your mind, maybe thinking something like: \u201cWhat just happened there?\u201d or \u201cWhy did that feel so hard?\u201d Of course you have, because we all have in this field! And, that’s partly […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2282,"featured_media":286,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[59,3,64],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-early-intervention","category-engaging-families","category-recent-posts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2282"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=282"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/282\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":334,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/282\/revisions\/334"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/286"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":231,"date":"2026-04-07T10:07:03","date_gmt":"2026-04-07T14:07:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/?p=231"},"modified":"2026-04-07T10:07:05","modified_gmt":"2026-04-07T14:07:05","slug":"when-you-have-to-get-out-the-door-in-10-minutes-and-the-clothes-come-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.vcu.edu\/veipd\/when-you-have-to-get-out-the-door-in-10-minutes-and-the-clothes-come-off\/","title":{"rendered":"When You HAVE TO Get Out the Door in 10 minutes\u2026 and the Clothes Come Off"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHis bus comes in 10 minutes\u2026 and he took off all of his clothes!\u201d<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

That was the Monday morning phone call.
My daughter was in tears. My grandson\u2014three years old\u2014had stripped down to his diaper. The preschool bus was on its way. My daughter only had 10 minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After processing the urgency in her voice, I asked two simple questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n