7 Ways To Stop Stressing About Things You Can’t Change
Do you ever find yourself worrying about things that you can’t even control? Have you ever been unable to stop stressing about something out of your reach? Do you often find yourself overthinking but reaching no particular answer?
Nowadays, life is so complicated that people find themselves spiraling. They often think about what they should have done better in the past. People have so many responsibilities. They have to make so many decisions that some of them are bound to haunt them. Because of this reason, people stress about things that they can’t ever change. If you are one of those people who are often in their heads and think about every little detail of their life, that can be harmful.
So, what can you do to stop stressing out about everything? Try these seven techniques.
1. Determine What You Can’t Control
The first step you need to take is determining what is out of your reach. Many people believe that every action is controlled by them alone. But that’s not entirely true. There are many externalities that you can’t account for. If you want to stop stressing about things you can change, you need to understand that not everything is in your control.
Take some time to reflect on your capabilities. Ask yourself what can and can’t you do. Go through every matter pressing you and analyze which externalities and stressors were involved in those situations. If, for example, one of your relationships became cold because of another person, that is something that you couldn’t control.
Go through every situation pressing you and try to develop a realistic sense of control. Learn to let go of control in cases out of your reach. Understand that you can’t control certain externalities at all times. You can control how other people act; you can control what others say about you. In situations where externalities are involved, you need to detach yourself and let things evolve naturally.
As soon as you learn to loosen up, you will find that your stress levels get lower. Your brain won’t get overwhelmed by the amount of information it can compute. You won’t waste time worrying over unchangeable things. And at the end of the day, you will find yourself in a better mood.
2. Focus On Your Strengths; Stop Stressing About Your Flaws
One of the main reasons people worry is because you’re trying to solve something beyond their capabilities. When you find yourself in a situation where you can change something, chances are you don’t have the necessary tools to do so. Instead of forcing yourself to do something out of your reach, you should focus on the places where you can shine.
You need to understand not every person has a specific skill set. No matter how hard you try, you won’t be perfect in every area of your life. Some people are inherently good at certain things, lacking in other departments. If you’re stressing out about getting a promotion, that’s not in your area of expertise. You are not a manager, and you cannot decide whether you get that promotion or not. What you can do is you can focus on having a good track record.
You can work your most complex and do whatever your boss tells you to. Beyond that, the decision is out of your reach. Instead of worrying over the things that are not up to you, try to improve the areas you can improve. Focus on working on yourself and bettering yourself. Everything else is out of your control, and you should take it in stride.
Switching your focus from trying to change externalities to better yourself will alleviate a lot of pressure. You will feel less stressed and, in the long run, you will be happier.
3. Develop Affirmations
In stressful situations, people tend to spiral and become irrational. When you start worrying and stressing out, you need to find a way to calm yourself down. One of the best ways to do that is to develop healthy affirmations.
When you find yourself pessimistic, you need to find ways to convince yourself otherwise. Instead of stressing out about the worst outcomes, give yourself a pep talk and prepare for all situations. If, for example, you have to host a conference, and you’re feeling anxious about it, remind yourself that you can make it happen.
Have quick little phrases that can perk you up when you’re overwhelmed. I can do it. I’m ready for this. I’ve got this. All of these mantras are examples of things you can say. Having these affirmations can keep you mentally strong. Saying things like this aloud can help you combat self-doubt and avoid overthinking.
Repeating phrases like these is a psychological trick to help you calm down. Take a deep breath, repeat your affirmations, and you will find yourself getting less and less stressed.
4. Spend More Time In The Present to Stop Stressing
More often than not, when people worry about things, they are things from the past that cannot be changed in any way, shape, or form. People often get stuck in the past, playing certain events on repeat. This doesn’t only make you anxious and stressed, but wastes the time you could spend focusing on the present.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with reflecting on the past. The problem arises when you get stuck on an issue from the past, trying to change that thing. An example that probably everyone can relate to is sitting in bed, going over a conversation, and thinking about what you could have said.
There is no use in doing that because you cannot go back and say those things you are thinking about now. What you can do Is reflect on that conversation with a different perception. Think about what you can do now or in the future instead of what you could have done.
Try to limit the time you spend thinking about past situations. While some reflection can be good, you should try to focus on what’s going on now. Your time is limited, and you should spend it wisely. When you take everything in stride to focus on the present, you will be less overwhelmed and less stressed.
5. Stop Stressing About Your Fears And Face Them, Instead
One factor that increases your stress levels is fear. Fear makes it so that you can control certain situations. Your brain is scared, so it stops you from taking action. The only way to get that control back is to face your fears.
Fear often makes you go wrong in situations that would otherwise seem manageable. Instead of beating yourself down for having those fears, try to solve the issue from the root. If you messed up a presentation, you need to understand what was holding you back. Maybe it was the fear of speaking in public.
In that case, you should focus on solving that fear rather than forcing yourself to do that presentation perfectly. Facing your fears is no easy task, so it might be best to reach out to a professional to help you on your journey.
Facing your fears can make you more anxious in the short term. But, in the long term, it will give you the courage to take on everything you want to.
6. Schedule Time To Worry
Worrying over things is not an inherently bad thing. It can be a healthy part of your life if you know how to manage it well. The problem arises when you start overthinking and spiral out of control. Because of that, it’s best to limit the time you spend worrying to a particular pre-set window.
If you find yourself stressing out constantly, you might benefit from scheduling a time to worry. Give yourself half an hour to an hour daily to meditate and worry about things. Outside that window, you have to force yourself to stop worrying. Be present, and try to stop overthinking. You might also benefit from having a stress management plan.
Write down the steps that you find helpful when you’re trying to manage a situation. Reflect on the issue, attempt to brainstorm specific solutions, then compare those solutions until you reach the right one. Having these types of guidelines can be beneficial and can keep you grounded. The more grounded you are, the less likely you will become overly stressed.
7. Stop Stressing By Seeking Support
In challenging situations, you might be inclined to believe that you need to solve everything on your own. But taking on all this pressure alone can be very harmful. In many cases, a second opinion can help you so things that might seem out of your control. And, when it comes to something that you cannot change, it’s good to have a support system that can comfort you when you need it.
When you’re stressing out about something, friends and family can take your mind off things. They can distract you and offer you the comfort you need. They can give you a second opinion, a different perspective on what happened, and can put your mind at ease.
If you feel that your stress levels are getting out of control, it might be good to contact a professional, like a psychologist. The simple act of talking to someone about what you’ve been through can significantly lower your stress levels.
Final Thoughts On Some Ways To Stop Stressing About Things You Can’t Change
It is essentially human nature to stress out about everything going on in your life. But stressing out can make you spiral out of control. You need to understand that there are certain things you cannot change, and you need to let go of control.
Focus on what you can change and what you can control and on harnessing your abilities. Create specific guidelines like affirmations and stress management plans to help keep you grounded. And if everything else fails, try to seek the help of others like a support group, friends, family, or even a psychologist. When you implement these steps in your life, your stress levels will be significantly lower, and you will be happier overall.